Man, my words were misconstrued again! (Can words be construed, btw?) I'm wondering what kind of writer I really am - people don't seem to "get me" sometimes. Isn't that the core of writing - communicating well enough to be understood? Have I failed??
I wrote a post that was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, funny even. But it read quite differently and now I feel kind of weird trying to write again. But I figured I'd better get back up on that blog. The longer I wait, the harder it will be, right? (The post is gone, incidentally. I'm saving it for myself, though. I worked hours on it! If you missed it, well, let that be a lesson to you: You'd better check in with mamacole more frequently! <----- again, trying to be funny here.) So here's today's blog - much less controversial subject matter: Back to School. (Again, this blog is supposed to be funny -kind of pathetic if I have to say it, though).
Ahhhh.... That's the sound of me relaxing after the kids got on the bus. My son gets on at 7:50 and the girls not until 8:45. Kisses, hugs, "I love you's". Wave to the bus until you can't see it any more ("even if we can't see you, mommy," I was instructed). And then they were gone.
I AM FREE! Yippee - a whole 6 hours of day ahead of me! I was relieved and excited at once.
My back to school feeling didn't really start for me until today, though the kids started Wednesday. Dear Hubby had shoulder surgery last Friday. Though he'd expected to be up and around - back to work, in fact - on Tuesday, his surgeon said the tear was really bad and he didn't want him to move it for at least two weeks. That meant no driving. He's a contractor and he has 4 jobs underway- from Smithtown to Syosset and he needed to supervise them. That meant he needed a chauffeur. So my last three days have been spent doing that. Today, his brother picked him up - Thus my first free morning in months.
So here I am with all this free time. Wow. How should I spend it? First with a cup of coffee and the Times? Don't want to waste too much time on that. Taking a walk? I promised myself I'd fit one in every day once the kids were in school. Cleaning this very dirty, very neglected house? I walked around this morning, before the kids were up, mentally listing everything that needed cleaning: the floors, the refrigerator, the table tops (covered with papers), the stairs - yuck! cat hair in every corner! I pictured myself as the Tasmanian Devil, spinning through the house, picking up toys, dust rag in one hand, vacuum in the other.
Do I finish updating the civic association membership list? Update the PTA budget and meet with the new president? Pay bills? Take care of "paperwork"? Get my Sunday School classroom set up? Shop for new pillows? (I really do need to do this). There's so much I have to do! I'll never have the time! Six hours is not enough!!
OK, calm down. I need to make a list. Prioritize.
I've always been a list-writer. My dad taught me about lists - checklists, punch lists (are these the same?), pros and cons lists. And I often have two or three lists going at once - the daily list, what needs to get done TODAY, the long term projects list, which is usually an entire page long and can exist for months, sometimes years. Also there are the specific lists: "To Do for PTA", "To Do for Aaron", "To Do for Birthday Party." (Oh no, that reminds me - my little one turns 7 on Thursday and I haven't even sent out invitations! Another thing to do.)
Sometimes my priority for the day is to write the list. I know it sounds funny (weird funny and "ha-ha" funny, I hope), but it helps me to feel organized and settled and I can plan my day. I haven't even written my list yet, but I know blogging will be on it. My dad taught me this little trick: Put a few items on your list that you've already done. This way, you can write them down and cross them off all at once. Then, when you're looking at the list later, you can feel that you've already accomplished something. Pretty nifty self-psychology, no? My dad knows how it feels to be inundated with "chores" and "errands" and he knows how you can get stuck. This trick really does help to get you motivated!
So, I'm going to finish up this post, write my list and take my walk. Then I will try to do the things on my list, one by one, until the kids return home.
Sigh.... so much for Freedom.
: )
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5 comments:
FYI:
I had the pleasure of catching your now-deleted post and I thought it was excellent!
Six
Thank you Six. That really made me feel better.
Yes, a day to write the list--one of my favorite pastimes.
Nancy says she doesn't want to waste her days-and I can see why, but right now, I am in official waster mode.
At least you wrote the list, I can't even bring myself to do that-because I think I might cry once it's all in front of me.
It was a good post Nicole, I agree--sometimes it's just hard to judge how things you write will be taken. The blog is like a temptation at times, and knowing you have this quasi-public outlet can sometimes cause problems. Then you wind up second guessing yourself, sometimes after you write...but I have one rule. And that is, once it goes up, none of mine ever come down.
Sometimes I write something that proves to be crazy, and I get no comments and I force myself to sit with that for a while-saying "see, ya big jerk....that WASN'T a good idea" in my head.
This way, I can learn something from it (even if it ain't so great).
And by the way...not at ALL saying that your post fits into this category...but obviously, something made you uncomfortable with it..that's all.
Ahh, it is nice to have the kids back in school. There is a bit of a backlog, though, as you say.
I have written some posts that I ended up feeling funny about (not ha-ha funny, either). I left them up, too, as a testament to my imperfections, in case there was any doubt. :))
Rock on, Nicole. Glad you got right back up on the blog.
I definitely agree with you about the lists. I often find myself getting that overwhelmed feeling, panicking that I can't possibly do all the things required of me. Then, I take a step back, take a deep breath, and write a list. This helps me to prioritize, and see what things absolutely positively must be done today, and what can wait...and in what order, geographically, time-wise, etc., they should be done. It really does save me, in the long run. I don't drive in circles, backtracking and stuff, and things get done on time.
Yeah. Need my lists.
Now...sometimes I LOSE the list...and that's another problem.kobx
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